He Was Just That Cool
by Calliope Epsilon
Summary: Absolutely pointless account on the gnawing issue of Itachi being cooler than Sasuke. ONE SHOT.


Contains possible spoilers. Maybe oocness, but only because i make fun of them.

...Incidentally, I don't own Naruto.

* * *

Sasuke wondered why he didn't just kill himself and get it over with. He supposed it had something to do with wanting revenge on Itachi or _something_, but sometimes he wondered if all the suffering was worth it.

He was probably just having a bad day, he decided.

It started off pleasantly enough. He trained all morning and practiced some new brooding expressions (he managed to kick his '_sulky_' face up to a point where it was as intense as a '_glaring_' face but not as plain as his '_scowling_' face).

But then Kakashi had to pop up and ruin it all by _blackmailing_ him into having lunch with the rest of Team 7.

Sasuke glowered. Why did Kakashi pop up every so often when he was training by himself? Did he think he wasn't capable of such? And _why_ did he have to pop up on that particular laundry Sunday?

_With a camera, no less_, Sasuke thought grimly. (His only consolation was that Kakashi seemed to have been to Naruto and Sakura's places as well. The next time they met their silver-haired sensei at the bridge, Sakura refused to speak to him and Naruto was yelling like there was no tomorrow).

And then, on his way to the Ichiraku (funnily enough, Naruto's choice…) he was attacked by no less than fifteen fan girls. Sakura wasn't included in this little group, so he had no problem telling them to buzz off. Except not those words exactly…

So there he was, at the Ichiraku, with Naruto, waiting for a (surprisingly) late Kakashi and a (curiously) late Sakura.

The present Naruto, however, was eating a nice bowl of ramen beside Sasuke. Though the Kyuubi boy looked even more moronic than usual when he slurped his miso ramen, Sasuke preffered it when his mouth was stuffed with noodles rather than random howls of, "I'm going to be _Hokage_! Because it's my _dream_! And Sasuke's a _bastard_!"

Though it pained him, Sasuke knew he would have to ask eventually.

"Why are you eating?"

"_Kusk'ifz'lunthhh_!" Naruto said. Sasuke blinked, and Naruto swallowed. " 'Cause it's lunch. Duh."

Sasuke was exasperated. He didn't want to talk to Naruto, really, but there was a chance that Kakashi would reschedule if he found out Naruto had finished eating _before_ Team 7 managed to gather. Point in said gathering was to bond as a team through eating _together_. Damned teamwork obsession…damned eastern complex of meal orientation…

"Kakashi and Sakura aren't here yet," Sasuke said. He very nearly added _Duh_.

"But I'm hungry."

Sasuke could see his point. If they waited for Kakashi to have lunch, they'd have _dinner_ instead. One week later.

Also, he wondered briefly where Sakura was. If she didn't show up, he would kill her himself. There was no way she could just abandon him in the hands of Naruto and Kakashi.

Then again, she was just as annoying…

The thinking was making his head hurt.

But he didn't want to talk to Naruto anymore, so he decided to concentrate on the important things. He was just that cool.

_Must kill Itachi. Must kill Itachi. Must kill Naru—I mean, Itachi._

**Poof!**

"Wah!" went Naruto, as he fell over in surprise. Kakashi offered a sheepish smile, but managed to prevent the ramen from going to waste.

"Ready for lunch?" Kakashi asked, balancing the bowl on two fingers. Naruto snatched it (Kakashi let him).

Great. Naruto wasn't going to bring the missing Sakura to his attention. That meant he'd have to do it himself. And then Kakashi would go on about how he _liked_ her or something. Or make a jibe about him actually having enough _feelings_ to care. What kind of rock did Kakshi live under, anyway? Uchihas didn't have feelings. Itachi proved that a long time ago.

Well, that's what Sasuke told himself, and he completely ignored the fact that he bawled like a baby the time Itachi put itching powder in his clothes and then fed him some crap about it being a step to "being accepted as a mature Uchiha".

Because he was just that cool.

"…_Anou sa_, Kakashi-_sensei_," Naruto said, pausing in his ramen.

Ah, good. Naruto would bring the missing Sakura to their sensei's attention. Sasuke didn't have to curse himself.

"_Hai_, Naruto?"

"…Why are you on time?"

Okay, now he wanted to kill himself.

"On time? Me?"

"Well, you're five minutes late, but you're not hours late like usual. You really take this team thing seriously, then?"

"…Hmm. My clock seems to be broken after all."

"_NANI_?"

Sasuke clenched his fist. All respect he had for Kakashi was fading rather fast.

"Eh? Where's Sakura?"

He unclenched his fists. Now he wouldn't have to stab his pride!

He was so cool.

"She's never late," said Naruto. Sasuke agreed, and was annoyed at Sakura for being late. _How_ could he sit there with a bowl of soup and ignore his teammates while thinking of possible ways to give Itachi _a slow and painful death_, if he only had Naruto and Kakashi to ignore!

He was answered. A whistling kunai shot through the air. Sasuke caught it in between his fingers without a scratch.

Naruto and Kakashi stared.

Sasuke frowned, and opened the note attached there. Out of the folded paper fell a pink lock of hair.

_**I have her. You'd better hurry, or you're not getting her back… Foolish little brother.**_

He was up in a flash, Sharingan activated and arms itching to use Chidori. He sped out before Kakashi and Naruto could react.

_I'm gonna kill him…I'm gonna kill him… I'm gonna kill him…_

He jumped and caught a ledge. He flipped himself up unto a roof and sped on from there.

_I'mgonnakillhim…I'mgonnakillhim…I'mgonnakillhim—I'M GONNA KILL HIM!_

Ever since he was young, Itachi had a bad habit of taking Sasuke's stuff. It was more out of spite than anything, so the fact that Sasuke wanted to kill him was perfectly justified. Oh, and Itachi killed the entire Uchiha clan, too.

Sasuke remembered the new set of _shuriken_ his father gave him one birthday, along with a stiff pat on the head and a five word lecture: "Grow strong like your brother.". Well, he wanted to be strong, all right, but he wanted to be strong enough to beat his brother's ass to hell and back. That _shuriken_ set was later found gathering dust in Itachi's bedroom closet—along with a _kunai_ set, a pouch of pretty marbles, a whimsical top… all Sasuke's.

And those were the things Itachi decided to keep. Sasuke was pretty sure that Itachi did not get a new _shuriken_ bag the day Sasuke's got lost. He was also pretty sure that when his clothes fell into the river when he was drying them off from a swim, it was not an _accident_. And _no way_ was he going to believe that Itachi _didn't_ know that the tomato sandwich was _his_! Sasuke was the only one who liked them!

He jumped down from the roof and burst through the door of the flower shop.

"Hey!" Sasuke said to Ino. His voice may have been a bit loud; she seemed rather startled. "Have you seen Sakura?"

"Wh—" Ino's eyes grew wide. "Saku—on her way to the memorial stone, why?"

Sasuke sped off, not quite realizing the consequences of his actions. Ino SO had a story for her gossip circle now.

His pace quickened as he neared the memorial. And then he halted.

Sakura was lying down, unconscious, at the far side of the area. He was immediately by her side.

She was breathing… she really was Sakura… her pulse was normal… Actually, apart from her lack of consciousness, she seemed fine. She was…_asleep_?

Sasuke blinked. Then he spotted a _kunai _embedded on a nearby tree. There was a note.

Laying her down, er, _gently_, he got a hold of the note.

_**Just messing with you. However, I notice that you weren't training. Not enough hate! Therefore, I shall take some extra measures:**_

_**I, Uchiha Itachi, regardless of any denial made previously, am in fact the person who drowned Pinky, Uchiha Sasuke's pet kitten.**_

**_That stupid kitten was so _not_ cute. So _there**

Sasuke's fists clenched until they drew blood.

**"I'M GONNA _KILL_ YOU!"**


End file.
